The greatest commandment is given to us by Jesus in Matthew 22:36-40: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” If you find yourself in a season of singleness or have chosen to remain single to the glory of God, it’s important to remember that no matter what season we are in - our mission is the same. Love God first - love others second. How can we do that in singleness? Keep reading to find out.
Singleness is a Gift From God
It is okay to be single in your pursuit of Jesus Christ and His purposes! Single people often are forgotten by the church and we don’t want to forget or devalue you here. If you are single - keep chasing after God. Whether your singleness is a choice or something your situation dictates, it is a gift from God.
In 1 Corinthians 7:7-9, Paul actually encourages the Corinthians that “it is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.” Paul’s perspective is that singleness is a gift that allows us to serve the Lord without being distracted by other priorities. While at times, the church can overemphasize the importance of marriage, Paul gives you permission to rest in the truth that your singleness is a gift from God Himself. This is the first thing to remember if you are single. Do not lose your contentment in this season - God is with you and He has work to do in and through you.
Love & Honor God Above All Things
The most important relationship you will ever have is the relationship with your Heavenly Father. Whether you are looking to exit your season of singleness or you are content to stay there, it’s critical that you keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. He is your first and greatest love! In the greatest commandment, Jesus puts things in their proper place. First we love God - then we love others. All of our relationships should follow this principle - Christ first, then others.
Jesus takes it even further in Matthew 10:37-39 where He tells us that anyone who loves their father or mother more than Him is not worthy of Him. We can’t get this twisted - our love for God comes first. If we want to have the best relationships possible, we ought not focus on our significant other or our desire to have one. Focus on Christ.
The truth is that relationships will never complete you - only Christ can. This is good news for those of us who are single. We don’t need to find a “second half” or our “soul mate” to be complete. Colossians 2:9-10 says that “in Christ you have been brought to fullness.” In other words - He is the one who completes us! You can’t look to anyone else to fulfill or complete you - but if you seek Christ first, He will take care of you. If you are single - seek Christ first. Let Him be your source of completion, satisfaction, and contentment.
Be Wise & Intentional In Your Relationships
Proverbs 14:15 says that “A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps.” If you are single and hope to be married, do not settle for the first person who comes along. Take time now to give thought to the type of person you ultimately want to marry and potentially raise children with. Be intentional as you consider who you will date, who you won’t date, and how you date.
Dating ultimately exists as an interview of sorts, to see if two people are compatible for marriage. If you don’t want to get married or you don’t see yourself marrying somebody who has expressed interest in you - communicate clearly and don’t waste your time. Pay attention when you see red flags and make sure that every person you consider dating meets the standard set in the word of God first and foremost.
Whether you want to remain single or not, follow the instructions found in Proverbs 4:23: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Every season comes with its own temptations - singleness included. There are temptations to sexual sin, to compromise in dating, to settle for someone ungodly because of the loneliness you may feel - do not give in. Guard your heart and keep it dedicated to Christ first and foremost. This is a work that starts now in singleness but will remain important in every season!
Set Physical Boundaries Now
Your season of singleness is the best time to set your physical boundaries for dating. Ephesians 5:3 says that “among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.” Sex is a beautiful gift that binds two people together physically, mentally, and emotionally. God designed it for the context of marriage and all forms of it outside of biblical marriage are sin.
It is incredibly easy to fall short in this area when you are in the middle of a relationship. Now is the time to decide in advance what your boundaries are in this area to prevent failure when the temptation comes. If you wait to decide where your commitments lie in this area until the heat of the moment - your odds of success aren’t great. We tend to flirt with sin and temptation rather than fleeing from it as we are encouraged to in 1 Corinthians 6:18-20. Set physical boundaries before they are necessary and you will save yourself from a world of hurt.
Don’t Buy Into The “Right Person” Myth
Did you know that the concept of a “soul mate” isn’t biblical at all? Our modern dating culture tells us that we have to find the right person in order to have our happily ever after - but real relationships aren’t fairy tales and love is not something you simply “fall into.” Love is a choice. Relationships take work. And the truth is that there are hundreds of people you could have a successful marriage with.
Finding a spouse is not about finding the one person in the entire world who will complete you (remember, nobody actually can do that!). Rather, it is about being someone and finding someone who runs toward Jesus first. You are not looking for a perfect person, you are looking for a faithful person. Someone who lives according to Scripture, and whose ministry goals and family goals line up with yours.
The best thing you can do in this season to prepare yourself for that person? Become the person that you’re looking for is looking for. In other words, start pursuing the things of Christ and living in conformity with God’s good, pleasing, and perfect will (Romans 12:12) so that you will be ready when the godly person you desire to find shows up. Christ calls us to begin to cultivate the soil of our hearts for the relationship you will one day have. Don’t get lazy in a season of singleness - now is the time to get to work.
Conclusion
If you are single, remember that your call as a Christian is to love the Lord with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. Your singleness is a gift, and this season can be a fruitful and joyful season of serving the Lord. Choose to serve and honor Christ, whether you decide to stay single to the glory of God or pursue marriage one day to the glory of God.
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Relationship Status Week 1: February 9th, 2025. Preached by Ben Dieterly
Article Edited by Julia Castro
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